Booze Review

Springtime in Andalucia (Dog Not Included)


SMWS Cask No. 39.99AK: Well, Señor, we meet again for another Friday night Siesta y Fiesta!

G-LO: Hola, Mi Amigo! Where we headed tonight?

AK: We are headed, my friend, to España! Via Scotland.

G-LO: Muy bueno! It’s been many moons since I set foot on Spanish soil. I dig it! Ever been there?

AK: Does Taco Bell count?

G-LO: No. Or as they say in Spanish, no.

AK: Complicated language, indeed. We’re honored to have SMWS Cask No. 39.99 in our glasses. Sounds like a secret code. Get the NSA on the line! Wait… Maybe they are on the line!

G-LO: Or the FBI. They have a score to settle with our boys at Apple. Is this Hangout encrypted?

AK: Aren’t they all? Don’t answer that.

G-LO: Ok. I won’t.

AK: It’s a cute little bottle those wacky Whisky Sisters sent.

G-LO: It really is. Pretty label. Pretty box. And a red ribbon too!

AK: “Analytical Sample”. Right on the label. So science-y, Mr. Wizard.

G-LO: And the secret code (39.99) makes it even more science-y. So, you’ve never been to España?

AK: No. Aqui is where I’m rather be. Maybe 39.99 is the price tag. I’m joining SMWS now!

G-LO: Good luck with that. That won’t even cover the postage. Haven’t been to España in just under 26 years.

AK: They should consider UPS or FedEx at those rates! Did you make it to Andalucia, Señor G-LO?

G-LO: I did! Brief visit.

AK: On the way to San Jose, Ms. Warwick?

G-LO: No. More like on the way to The Algarve. We went the long way around to get there. Started in San Sebastian which I believe is the heart of Basque Country. Then went to Madrid for a few days. Then Lisbon and a town called Tavira in Portugal. While taking the train back to Spain, we found out that the train doesn’t cross the river which borders Portugal and Spain. Took the ferry. Then a cab to the next train station.

AK: Wouldn’t a camel have been easier? Can you get me a TripTik from the Auto Club? I need a map.

The Road to SevilleG-LO: A camel would have been faster. Speaking of camels…

AK: Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

G-LO: Not that kind of camel.  We then took a train to a town called Algeciras, famous for ferry access to Tangier, Morocco, and being Gibraltar’s next door neighbor. Gibraltar, home of The Rock. No. Not Dwayne Johnson. And no. Not that Nic Cage / Sean Connery movie either.

AK: I wanna ROCK!

G-LO: So we stayed one night in Algeciras. Shady port city for sure. Spent the night in the attic of this Spanish family’s home. Awful bed. Probably got bed bugs. The next day we hopped on another train and somehow wound up in Seville. It was Easter Week and they have this massive party called the Feria de Abril. Think Oktoberfest level of insanity, but with better food. Got there around 10PM. Stayed till 6AM. Wine, Flamenco music, and fried calamari. Churros and coffee in the morning.

AK: Can’t be worse or wurst. My kind of fiesta!

G-LO: So that was my stay in Andalucia. Good time! The question is, what does any of this have to do with Scotch whisky?

AK: And all this time I thought Andalucia was just Amberlita’s sister. Who cares?! It’s all about the journey! Shall we pop the screw-top lids?

G-LO: Oh snap! You might be right about Amberlita and Andalucia! I think they were dancing in front of us under the big top at the Feria. Enough about them! Let’s get to the whisky. Pop’em if you got’em! Glug glug glug… I be poured!

AK: Pop! I love onomonopeia. Poured ademas. Pretty little 39.99.

G-LO: It is! Lightly tanned Amber.

AK: Doesn’t look a .01 days under 40.  That Mediterranean sun will get you. Sweet smelling lady she is.

G-LO: It really will. Didn’t get any beach time til Barcelona. Say it with a lisp. The Catalonians do! So this stuff is 23 years old. It can legally drink itself. In all 50 states no less!

AK: Linkwood 23 Years Old 1990 per the NSA intercept.

G-LO: Linkwood? I hear link and Scotland and I think golf. Do you hit the links? Wait. 1990???

AK: I gotta bad back and a bad backswing. I hear Link and I think Mod Squad. Where’s Peggy Lipton when you need a drinking buddy? 1990. Grunge was in full glory (bows head towards Seattle).

G-LO: April of 1990 to be more specific. THAT’S when I was in Andalusia! BOOM!

AK: No freaking way! It’s Kismet or whatever the Spanish equivalent to Kismet is.

G-LO: Totally serious. I wouldn’t kid a kidder!

AK: This baby was born while you were there.

G-LO: Indeed it was. Our timing is spectacular! Let’s get our beaks in the glass.

AK: Fantastico! Beaking as we speaking.

G-LO: Muy bueno, Señor! Ohhhhhh….

AK: Orange zest up my nose on first whiff.

G-LO: Yeah? I got spiced apple. Now I’m getting clove.

AK: Apples too. Maybe a burnt something. I love burnt something.

G-LO: Yes! Burnt sugar. As opposed to Burt Sugar. Like the topping of a creme brûlée. Getting some toasted coconut too.

AK: I hope I don’t. I’m not cuckoo for coconut.

G-LO: No? I looooove coconut.

AK: You can have the Mounds bars.

G-LO: Got some of those chocolate covered coconut patties in the pantry.  Almond Joy works too.

AK: It’s got nuts. Mounds don’t. Or so I’ve heard.

G-LO: You are right, Sir! Cue The Tonight Show theme

AK: May a pregnant camel barf tapas on your poncho.

G-LO: Thank you, Carnac! Speaking of tapas. San Sebastian, España. Best. Tapas. EVER!

AK: That would be a Yelp-worthy endorsement.

G-LO: It’s foodie heaven. I got so drunk there. Two days in a row. You can do that when you’re 23. Speaking of getting drunk. I’m going in!

AK: This whisky is 23 too, don’t forget. And 58.9%!

G-LO: Coincidences abound! A serendipitous tasting this is.

AK: I have the memory of a 58.9 year old.

G-LO: And I can only remember things that happened 26 years ago. Mmmm. This is tasty!

AK: It’s the first sign. How are your hips? That’s next to go.

G-LO: Mine are fine. The knees could be better though.

AK: This 39.99 might be the trick to make them knees run a little better! Bit oily.

G-LO: I think you’re right, Dr. Bombay! Better than that fish oil crap.

AK: I know my witch doctoring.

G-LO: I feel 23 again!

AK: Take two drams and call me in the morning. Just don’t call me maybe or late for dinner. Second taste is way sweeter, Sweetie. Wow! Churro City!

G-LO: Starts off hyper dry! With a touch of oily goodness. Lots of cinnamon and baked apple after that.

AK: Back of my tongue is like an oil slick, Speed Racer.

G-LO: Wow! The tip of my tongue is en fuego! All of the moisture has been sucked out.

AK: Fire Island! Man oh man this is oily!

G-LO: Enough oil to take out the Mammoth Car? How about the Daredevil Acrobatics Team?

AK: Might need a tanker-ful for that. And STP. The racer’s choice.

G-LO: I’m a Mobil 1 kind of guy. So so dry this is. Like…

AK: Put a little 39.99 in the Mach 5 and vroom vroom!

G-LO: Springtime in Andalucia!

AK: I love the Mel Brook’s version.

G-LO: Mel Brooks? My visions are taking me elsewhere.

AK: Get glasses.

G-LO: Sergio Leone spaghetti westerns is what I see. Cue the Ennio Morricone…

AK: Mmm mmm mmm… Spaghetti. I’m making that hawk-screech-over-the-burning-hot-desert sound as we drink.

G-LO: Where’s Tuco?

AK: Where’s Tuco, indeed?

G-LO: Wait. Tuco Salamanca from Breaking Bad?

AK: El Jefe.

G-LO: Damn that’s good. I need some more!

AK: Luckily the Sisters pour very generously. I love those Hermanas!

G-LO: They do! They do! Thank you, Whisky Sisters! So yeah. This stuff is super tasty. I know you’re not much of a Sherry bomb guy. How you liking it?

AK: It’s on the sweet side for me. Thought it was ex-bourbon though. Research! Refill ex-bourbon hogshead. Says so on the packaging. Perhaps you should pay a visit to our friends at Warby Parker. We know a guy.

G-LO: Ack! You’re right. Give me their number offline. Thanks to the intensity, this stuff leans towards the sweet side of Scotland, but not in a cloying way. I’m sure the 23 years in the barrel has something to do with that too. Nice balance of sweet and hot.

AK: Nope, not overly sweet at all. I like the sweet and hot combo. Easy drinking this Andalucia.

G-LO: It is. Now I want some white anchovies.

AK: Racist.

G-LO: And some manchego. Hey now! I’m no racist. I hate everyone equally.

AK: One order of manchego, coming up! Equal opportunity is what it’s all about.

G-LO: Though I love everyone when I’m drinking, Sweetie.

AK: Whisky brings the love, Baby.

G-LO: It really does, Sugar.

AK: Ahhhhh… Honey Honey…

G-LO: Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah… Did you try this with water?

AK: No aqua para mi. Y tu?

G-LO: True. You’re in the middle of a drought on the Left Coast. Nada for me. Water is for quitters.

AK: We’re pacing ourselves. Might be a long drought. Camels are all filled up.

G-LO: Good move. So did we like this one?

AK: I did. Pushes the sweetness barometer for me, but really great flavors.

G-LO: I liked it too. Have had a few Linkwoods thanks to the generosity of Limpd. He’s an actual member. They’ve always been good. It has some sweetness at first, but then it takes you on a ride.

AK: I could easily add an X-rated joke here!

G-LO: Hey now! This blog is rated G. Wait. Drinking age is 21. Does that make us rated X???

AK: They start younger and younger every year. I hope so. I ain’t getting any younger.

G-LO: Ha!

AK: I give it an ocho point nueve.

G-LO: Muy bueno! Nueve point uno for me.

AK: Excellente, your Excellence!

G-LO: Gracias, El Jefe! Thanks for the trip down Andalucian Memory Lane!

AK: Viva Andalucia!

G-LO: And Viva Fidel!

AK: And Viva General Franco!  Esta todavía está muerto.

________________________________________________

Muchas gracias a Gabby Shayne de la Sociedad de Whisky Escocés de Malta de América para el envío de esta muestra muy delicioso!

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