Death By Coconut. This should be the title for the final episode of a Gilligan’s Island re-boot. I’m thinking a 13 episode mini-series for Netflix or Amazon Prime, written by David Lynch and directed by Michel Gondry. The cast would be as follows:
- Jason Segal as Gilligan
- John Carroll Lynch as The Skipper
- Matt Frewer as The Professor
- Jessica Chastain as Ginger
- Rachel McAdams as Mary Ann
- Dan Ackroyd as Thurston Howell, III
- Julianne Moore as Lovie Howell
Death By Coconut would open with Gilligan taking a snooze under a coconut tree. After some volcanic activity on the island which triggers a mild earthquake, Gilligan gets hit on the head by a coconut. This of course leads to an extended dream sequence which leaves viewers wondering what was real and what was imagined during each episode. Think equal parts Twin Peaks, Mulholland Drive, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
As I was thinking about all of this Gilligan’s Island nonsense, I thought for sure that I was having an original thought, but let’s face it, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 25 years and never turned on a television (or went to a movie theater), then you would know that these “plot twist” things have been done many many times. Then again, since we’re talking about Hollywood where everybody steals ideas from each other on a regular basis, I guess having an unoriginal thought isn’t all that bad. I mean, wasn’t Lost essentially a serious version of Gilligan’s Island?
Now that I’ve gone way off course (much like the fearless crew of the S.S. Minnow), let’s right the ship and get on with a review of the the real Death By Coconut, an Irish Porter brewed by Oskar Blues of Logmont, Colorado. Here’s what Oskar Blues has to say about this seasonal brew that’s available during the winter months:
Intense fresh cacao flavors swirl with popping coconut aromas, all supported by a semi-sweet porter made from loads of dark chocolate and extra dark caramel malt. This limited release specialty comes around once a year to satisfy that sweet tooth, so get ’em while you can before they disappear. At 6.5% ABV and 25 IBUs, this choconut goodness will have you yellin’ “Pass. Dash. Hit.” all winter long.
And here’s what I thought about it…
- Appearance: Deep, dark mahogany color. Fizzy carbonation when first poured. A tan head rapidly forms, but alas, it fizzles quickly too, leaving no trace of its existence.
- Aroma: Chocolate is front and center when you take that first sniff, but not of the candy bar variety. I’m thinking Bosco or Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup. Medium roast coffee shows up next. After that, the toasted coconut notes make an appearance. It all adds up to leave me craving a Mounds candy bar (for our British followers out there, think Bounty candy bar).
- Taste: The carbonation is somewhat fizzy and highly reminiscent of Seltzer water. Given its moderately high ABV, there is very little alcohol coming through. As far as the taste goes, the flavors are as advertised, i.e. milk or semi-sweet chocolate followed immediately by those subtle toasted coconut flavors. It doesn’t taste very much like a Mounds or Bounty bar because it’s nowhere near as sweet. There’s just a hint of bitterness in the finish and there’s a hint of astringency too. The fizzy carbonation and subtle chocolate/coconut flavors leave me with memories of a well-crafted chocolate egg cream.
- ABV: 6.5%
I really enjoyed Death By Coconut. It has a light and somewhat refreshing quality which is somewhat surprising given how dark of a beer it is. I’m thinking that it would make a great after-dinner beer. One to be had on its own, or alongside a slice of Cheesecake or Coconut Cream Pie.
Categories: Brew Review, Oskar Blues
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It's just the booze dancing... 
Man, I keep passing on this. One the one hand I do like the idea of the chocolate, but a Mounds bar? I’ll probably break down one day and have it.
Nice casting on the Gilligan’s Isle. I’d have never thought of Frewer, but now I can’t see anyone else doing it!
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I totally think it’s worth a try. If you’ve had the Maui Coconut Porter, this is very similar.
Re: Frewer, he plays a scientist on Orphan Black. Really good on the show. So once again, this is not an original idea.
Happy New Year, Ed!
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Sienfeld SAYS: “only Brooklyn born Jews may reference the ambrosia of our people – the egg cream.”
First, no self-respecting egg cream would allow itself to be infected with the essence of a Chewbacca-clad fruit oft harvested with a crude item of poorly maintained cutlery.
Second, a proper egg cream is made with U-Bet chocolate syrup. Industrial syrups such as Bosco and Hershey’s have no place dancing the Hora with ice cold milk before a welcome rain of freshly uncapped club soda.
Third, Rachel MacAdams is a worthy choice for Mary Ann but I’m thinking Dame Judy Dench would make for a better choice as Lovie (especially because her Britishness allows for a cleaner Bounty Bar tie-in)
And there you have it….had it….unlike me. Hopefully Oskar didn’t use up all the coconuts because I’ll need a pair of half shells and a trusty invisible horse so I may set out on a proper quest in search of this brew.
How does it compare with Maui’s CocoNut Porter? Sorry for the normal question. I won’t do it again. I can’t take the resulting rash….
On to the isthmus!
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Fine. Next time I pop over for a research session, you can make me a proper egg cream.
I considered Dame Judi Dench as Lovie. Also considered Helen Mirren. But then I remembered Julianne Moore in The Big Lebowski. Her voice was a totally demented version of Lovie in that one.
Re: Maui’s CocoNut Porter, I thought it was comparable, though truth be told, the last time I had that was with you at your Craft Beer research facility.
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My college roommate was Jewish and one of the things he let me in on was U-Bet. Only stuff I ever buy. As for GI – I like the Dench/Mirren idea. Let’s really flip the script and make the couple full blow Brits, make HER the rich one (maybe from a royalty connection) and have her call her husband “Lovie”. He needs to either be younger and be able to pull off “proper” (Hugh Bonneville?) or really younger and spoiled (not sure who, any suggestions?).
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I like it! How about Emma Thompson as Mrs. Howell (reprising her Saving Mr. Banks type role)? For the husband, something along the lines of a Clive Owen. Tobias Menzies would be good. Really liking him as an insensitive doctor in Catastrophe.
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I like Rachel McAdams as MaryAnn
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Total girl next door type. Smart. Pretty. A touch of attitude.
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Great recap! Thanks for sharing. Sadly, Benita liberated the extra can on New Year’s Eve. Also, I can’t help but notice that you have casted 3 redheads. Purely coincidental, I’m sure!
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Three? I thought Chastain and Moore were the only redheads. Is McAdams a redhead too? I like her best as a brunette.
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I’m not sure what her natural hair color is, but I have seen her with reddish hair in The Family Stone, The Notebook and About Time. A little surprised you went with Ms. Chastain and not Ms. Hendricks, too.
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I considered Ms. Hendricks for sure but figured Ms. Chastain would be a nice change.
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Not that you could go wrong either way!
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Of course you can’t!
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